5 Tips for Healing After Heartbreak
So you just broke up with your partner and posted a bomb selfie on Instagram. Now what? You can pretend you’re fine on social media, but you still feel that pain deep in your heart. You’re now alone and even worse with your negative thoughts. If you’re dramatic or anxiety-prone like me, your negative thoughts are going from 0-100 real quick. Left unchecked, you can start to internalize those emotions. Ain’t nobody got time for that! You’re newly singly, and there’s a 1,000 better things to do. Let’s explore five helpful tips for healing after heartbreak.
Tip One: Make it a Clean Break
Tip one may be the most challenging and helpful tip covered. A clean break is essential for a smoother and faster healing process. Leaving the door open on an ended relationship is leaving the door open to pain. Even if you and your partner get back together, what’s different about this time? What changes has either of you made to change the dynamic of the relationship to make it work? If the answer is nothing. Consider the possibility that you may be rushing back together. A clean break also prevents you from becoming manipulated or used by your ex. You also don’t want to be placed in the category of always being available to your ex. Ignore the late-night text. No, you aren’t up. Use your time apart and figure out what’s best for you with a clear head. Don’t rush into trying to befriend your ex either; let your heart heal.
Tip Two: Reinvent Yourself
Now, I’m not talking about getting a haircut or doing some other dramatic thing with your hair. I’m talking about evaluating who you became in your relationship. Right now, you probably have a ton of negative thoughts making you feel worthless or at fault for your breakup. Challenge those thoughts by evaluating your relationship. What things did you like about yourself in the relationship, and what things didn’t you? What traits would you like to bring into a new relationship, and which ones are better left behind. With that information, start reinventing yourself. Start becoming the person you want to be in this new chapter of your life. Be the you that has been trapped inside of you, waiting to escape while you were in that relationship. After a breakup, level up internally so you can level up in other areas of your life.
Tip Three: Create a Singles Bucket List
This tip is my favorite tip. We get so caught up in not wanting to be alone that we focus on the negative aspects of being single. The good news is, being single isn’t all that bad. One thing I stress for clients who are looking to settle down is what about you. Let’s say the next person you date is the one. That’s it for you. There is no more of the freedom that comes with being single. You are now forever attached to this other person and their needs. There are so many things a relationship can bring into your life. But at the cost of your time, energy, and freedom. Before you take that next leap, what are things you can only do while single. Create a singles bucket list of at least ten things you want to do but couldn’t or wouldn’t do if you were in a relationship. Then go out and have fun! Start checking those things off your list. Then when you meet the right person, you can have a level of fulfillment that makes it easier to commit. You won’t later resent your partner for things you wanted to do in life but felt they prevented you from experiencing. Remember, it’s a new chapter. It’s the perfect time for trying new things.
Tip Four: Date & Fall in Love with Yourself
How can we want someone to love us if we don’t love ourselves? Breakups can leave us feeling unworthy. Challenging these negative thoughts becomes essential to your healing. You are worthy of love. Start with loving yourself like you’re worth it. You don’t need someone to take you out to validate your worth. Take yourself out, learn to enjoy your company, and spoil yourself. You deserve it. Take yourself to that new restaurant you’ve wanted to try or to the movie you’ve been dying to see. Whatever your budget allows, treat yourself to something nice. You never know what you’ll learn about yourself and how much you’ll grow when you spend time fully invested in knowing yourself. Fall in love with the new person you’re becoming. More importantly, have fun while you’re doing it.
Tip Five: Don’t Rush Into Something New
I cannot stress this enough. Take your time. Heal from your last relationship. It is so unfair to your future partner to take in that unresolved baggage. You don’t want to chase away someone who’s a good match because you’re still stuck on your ex and those unresolved wounds. Feel sad, angry, and hurt. Cry a river of tears while eating a big bowl of ice cream. Go through all that hurt, so you don’t create more for yourself further down the line. As mentioned previously, when you find the one, that’s it. Enjoy the journey of being single because when it’s over, it is over. More importantly, you don’t want to be in an unhealthy relationship; because you couldn’t tolerate being alone. Know your worth. You just leveled up. Keep on elevating, not downgrading. Make healthy decisions for yourself and others. You might miss something good because you’re fumbling with a new relationship you’re trying to force to work. You might even chase away something good when you rush into it. Take your time. Healing is painful but worth it.
Healing after heartbreak is a challenging journey. Despite its challenges, we grow so much in the process and learn so much about ourselves. I know it’s painful. I know you’re sick of being let down. Let’s properly heal this wound and create space for a new and better relationship; a relationship with yourself. Find your inner glow from being happy with yourself because that will naturally attract other people.